Your Wedding Day
YOUR WEDDING DAY – A FEW THOUGHTS
1. You do not need to be a church member to be married in church, nor indeed by a church minister, but you should have a genuine connection with the parish in which you wish to be married. If neither of you has any connection with Ancrum, Crailing, Eckford and Lilliesleaf, you should instead approach the minister of the parish in which you live.
2. Apart from your two selves, the most important item to bring to the service is the Marriage Schedule from the local Registrar. You will both need to complete a number of forms and produce Birth Certificates etc.
3. To make sure you get the Schedule, you contact the local Registrar for the place where the wedding is to be held, at least 6 weeks in advance of your wedding. For example, if the wedding is in Ancrum Kirk, this means Jedburgh ; for Crailing, it’s Kelso ; for Lilliesleaf, it’s Hawick.
4. The Registrar will ask you for the name and designation of the person conducting the service. Just to be clear, if it’s me, you should write …
Rev Frank Campbell, Minister, Ale & Teviot United Church of Scotland
… NOT, please, minister of Ancrum Parish Church, Crailing Parish Church, or Lilliesleaf Parish Church, as these – legally – no longer exist.
However, it is still perfectly OK to refer to Ancrum Church, Crailing Church, or Lilliesleaf Church, as the place where the wedding is to take place. Sorry if this is a bit confusing, but the less scope we allow for any technical hitches, the better!!!
5. Nowadays, you can be married pretty well anywhere you choose, not just in church, but the Registrar will guide you on this!
6. The Schedule MUST be presented to me before the wedding can take place. This is a legal requirement! We can cope if the wedding rings are forgotten – ring-pulls off a coke can would do in an emergency – but … NO CERTIFICATE means NO WEDDING!!!
7. Please discuss not only the date and the place but also the TIME of the wedding with me before making any firm arrangements. Especially on a Saturday, ministers like to have a bit of time to relax before a hectic Sunday. I'm normally happy to do Saturday weddings UP TO 1.pm.
8. Our church organist is Colin Fox [01835-850728], and if the wedding is in church it would be normal for you to invite Colin to play at the service. If the service is not in church, or if you want any additional musicians such as a piper to play you into church, that’s entirely up to you.
9. Whoever is providing the music, it’s a good idea to contact them well in advance to make sure they are free on the Big Day, and to discuss your musical requirements – typically two hymns, a march “in” and a march “out”, although you are free to vary this to suit yourself.
10. You are free to make your own arrangements regarding flowers, but if the service is to be in church, the Flower Convener would appreciate a courtesy call, so that she can plan for the Sunday following. At Ancrum, it’s Carmen Martin [01835-830204] ; at Crailing it’s Marjorie Hunter [01835-862539] ; at Lilliesleaf it’s Karen Coats [01750-22566]
11. Videos and photographs are OK by me, provided the camera operators are discreet and have a due sense of the occasion. It’s YOUR day, not theirs. It is your responsibility to check the copyright implications for hymns etc. At church, confetti may be used outside but not inside ; at other venues, you should check with the proprietor if confetti is allowed.
12. The minister does not usually attend the reception, and does not expect to be invited. You have more than enough people to try to fit in without bursting the bank – so please accept our apologies.
13. I am often asked about fees for weddings. In fact, all I ask is that you reimburse the church for expenses - electricity, cleaning and organist for services in church, travel if it's elsewhere.
I suggest a donation to Ale & Teviot United Church as follows:
In church: if you have no church connection: £120
In church: if either or both of you are connected with our church: £60
The above includes payment for our own church organist, but you would be responsible for paying any other musicians separately.
Any other local venue: no church connection: £60
Any other local venue: if you have a church connection: £30
Any non-local venue: the above, plus 40p per mile for travel
Please bring this to the rehearsal.
14. It’s usually a good idea to have a rehearsal the day before the wedding. This lets you “walk through” it all and helps to prevent panic on the Big Day when the nerves are jangling anyway. The best man, along with as many of the bridesmaids as possible and the chief usher should come with you to the rehearsal. Parents also like to be asked. This is as good a time as any to bring the Marriage Schedule [see above].
15. Last but by no means least … ENJOY YOUR WEDDING!
Wedding Resources (PDF Format)
